Is apparently becoming a foodie. That does not explain it or frame it well. I have just been eating more and more frequently and more things that I would not like to eat so regularly. That says it!
I think I am ... scratch that...if I don't like what I see, then it is I must change it.
Late night eating. Fried corn and potatoes...not you. You don't like it. The guilt is undeniable, o stop. Stop before it gets out of control.
Firstly, all those chemicals are bad for you inside
Those feel good moments aren't good for self-control.
I am spending monies I should be saving.
It all must stop. I don't want to live as if my stomach is my god. God is my God, it is he who i should go to at the start and end of he day. Not a bag of chips or cookies.
oh the guilt...because i know better and i don't want to become...that
Inside her head.
Friday, 16 November 2012
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Thursday, 19 April 2012
Today Abril finetzn
so today was fine.
thought it was a more or less ordinary 'bad' day.
Perhaps more positive adjectives should be used to describe my days. ah well.
I am learning little lessons in life. Like theres a time and place for everything, and allowing things to 'flow' is refreshing too. The thought that if something needs to be done, i would have to do it, ha s put me in constant do mode. Rather tiring doing can be.
Example sleeping in a bed with another. Rising always before, so dutifully spreading the bed is expected. Cool. S o one leaves dutifully an unmade bed, without fluffing pillows, folding cover sheets or attempting to straighten (offering some aid) to the other.
That becomes tiring.
Asking others to see what i think is verrryyyy obvious is also tiring.
Like, I can u empty the bin whaen what has made it full is your garbage?
Such bitter complains make one tired....
Ever tiring. Always tiredness.. is an ailment that sleep often cant cure.
It laughs at a bed and pillows, and stuffed animals with smiling faces.
Nothing gives ease to a soul unrested and broken from silence.
Truth is no wound can heal being sealed.
No sore can close covered under paddings.
Funny. We hide our scars 'protectiing them from germs outside'... probably not scars wound i mean.
yeah so we hide em, protecting them...
really?protecting the or the ppl around them from a grave sight or a foul smell?
God knows.
Climax: I wish my yawning (pun that shit for yearining) would end. That sikence be broken so peace can mend a sour hearts sore.
mad poet shit dont!!!
raeeeeeee <3
thought it was a more or less ordinary 'bad' day.
Perhaps more positive adjectives should be used to describe my days. ah well.
I am learning little lessons in life. Like theres a time and place for everything, and allowing things to 'flow' is refreshing too. The thought that if something needs to be done, i would have to do it, ha s put me in constant do mode. Rather tiring doing can be.
Example sleeping in a bed with another. Rising always before, so dutifully spreading the bed is expected. Cool. S o one leaves dutifully an unmade bed, without fluffing pillows, folding cover sheets or attempting to straighten (offering some aid) to the other.
That becomes tiring.
Asking others to see what i think is verrryyyy obvious is also tiring.
Like, I can u empty the bin whaen what has made it full is your garbage?
Such bitter complains make one tired....
Ever tiring. Always tiredness.. is an ailment that sleep often cant cure.
It laughs at a bed and pillows, and stuffed animals with smiling faces.
Nothing gives ease to a soul unrested and broken from silence.
Truth is no wound can heal being sealed.
No sore can close covered under paddings.
Funny. We hide our scars 'protectiing them from germs outside'... probably not scars wound i mean.
yeah so we hide em, protecting them...
really?protecting the or the ppl around them from a grave sight or a foul smell?
God knows.
Climax: I wish my yawning (pun that shit for yearining) would end. That sikence be broken so peace can mend a sour hearts sore.
mad poet shit dont!!!
raeeeeeee <3
Friday, 23 March 2012
hair today
doing a supposed deep steam.
trying not to use any resources from othrs xcept grandma
so i shampooed with suace clarifying. diluted 1to 1 with water
rinsed and rinsed. rptd.
pour brewed black tea over hair shower cap and towel
to use body heat to open cuticles
the aim is to darken my hair.
will try again next was...hich is thursday as i hav a locking appt frisday coming
trying not to use any resources from othrs xcept grandma
so i shampooed with suace clarifying. diluted 1to 1 with water
rinsed and rinsed. rptd.
pour brewed black tea over hair shower cap and towel
to use body heat to open cuticles
the aim is to darken my hair.
will try again next was...hich is thursday as i hav a locking appt frisday coming
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
march
bo-hoo
i am having hair struggles.
i love the look and feeel of micro locks' howvever, I am getting to realise it is a stretch to keep.
Firstly, self-retightening is hard. Very difficult with these as it takes a whole lotta time and energy.
My hair alos has gaps that need closing.
There is also the issue of dermatitis in the crown region. as white flakes tend to find their way and lodge in the base of the locks.
I am contemplating a) combining them
b) cutting my hair... dont want that
or i dunno leaving it.
i dont know what to do.
Really, my life has turned upside down.and it is all not a matter of my choosing.
I really respected Ms Yvonne because she is very knowledegable and caring. The trust I gave her to do my hair, I cant see myself doing that here. I dont know what to do at all.
Perhaps I should just suck salt thru a dry spoon and do the crazi stuff for 300-400 repair and retite dollars.. alos another option is procuring a free plane ticket and go to Ms Yvonne to fix it, then come bak here and 100-150 retites.
as i sed.. i dont kno wat to do. i prolly shud sit and talk to someone. which is what am gonna do again too. another stretch coz i only get money for metro cards for schhol days and library use.
Being poor is ok, i guess. having no-one to take care of you is worse.
wish things were differnt. I really do. But everytime i try to like get outta thiss society, life pushes me to it.
apparently, it is spring, and the masses wear heels and bright colours. I like neither. I wanna get into the christian club and jewish club and meet mormons who will have simple ideals like myself.
Rite now, I just speak the peace of Christ to my sirit, knowing that all is gonna be ok. Knowing deep down, things will be fine. I have to believe it. i must receive his peace to live in this world.
i am having hair struggles.
i love the look and feeel of micro locks' howvever, I am getting to realise it is a stretch to keep.
Firstly, self-retightening is hard. Very difficult with these as it takes a whole lotta time and energy.
My hair alos has gaps that need closing.
There is also the issue of dermatitis in the crown region. as white flakes tend to find their way and lodge in the base of the locks.
I am contemplating a) combining them
b) cutting my hair... dont want that
or i dunno leaving it.
i dont know what to do.
Really, my life has turned upside down.and it is all not a matter of my choosing.
I really respected Ms Yvonne because she is very knowledegable and caring. The trust I gave her to do my hair, I cant see myself doing that here. I dont know what to do at all.
Perhaps I should just suck salt thru a dry spoon and do the crazi stuff for 300-400 repair and retite dollars.. alos another option is procuring a free plane ticket and go to Ms Yvonne to fix it, then come bak here and 100-150 retites.
as i sed.. i dont kno wat to do. i prolly shud sit and talk to someone. which is what am gonna do again too. another stretch coz i only get money for metro cards for schhol days and library use.
Being poor is ok, i guess. having no-one to take care of you is worse.
wish things were differnt. I really do. But everytime i try to like get outta thiss society, life pushes me to it.
apparently, it is spring, and the masses wear heels and bright colours. I like neither. I wanna get into the christian club and jewish club and meet mormons who will have simple ideals like myself.
Rite now, I just speak the peace of Christ to my sirit, knowing that all is gonna be ok. Knowing deep down, things will be fine. I have to believe it. i must receive his peace to live in this world.
Monday, 27 February 2012
ye yeh. feb 27 20 12
Another day.
Tis is a good idea, this online journal. Also a bad idea. It is not only seen by me but by the top heads at g oo gle.
One would say, these heads have better to do than read my blog, which is true. But someone will have use for the information, if not now, later.
I am not worried, I am just aware that these things re true. I wouldnt be surprised if i went for a job interview and they have a print out of a few of my blogs.
What we say matters. It is often used to keep us away from people who wanna, perhaps exclude a certain gropu of people from some benefits. It is wise to be careful what we put up on the internet, what we throw out into the world.
Also we must live. In fact, thats what i will do. Who wants to alienate or exclude me, thats that. sadly that, but hey, I'm living and working the life ive got.
Thats a lot.
Now another thing.
The first exams of my college life are a week away. I am not as prepared as I want to be, but I am working on it, slowly but surely.
God is helping me and keeping me up. That being said, on to the workings. I am a full time student. I wannaace this. Learn a lot (but ace this).
CH 120 A or B. I get a decnt Hershey chocolate cake from C. E. Cheese
MA 10. Definitely affi pass coz u kno maths is a one nite stand areddy...cant deh wid it too long else it will mad u. so we aggo beat beat beat it dis semester so we CLEARRRR in da fall!!
breath of fresh air.... soon mek plans fi english. dat effin profssor is a nut!!!!
lmao anyway..
sklmedz yazeettttttttt
Tis is a good idea, this online journal. Also a bad idea. It is not only seen by me but by the top heads at g oo gle.
One would say, these heads have better to do than read my blog, which is true. But someone will have use for the information, if not now, later.
I am not worried, I am just aware that these things re true. I wouldnt be surprised if i went for a job interview and they have a print out of a few of my blogs.
What we say matters. It is often used to keep us away from people who wanna, perhaps exclude a certain gropu of people from some benefits. It is wise to be careful what we put up on the internet, what we throw out into the world.
Also we must live. In fact, thats what i will do. Who wants to alienate or exclude me, thats that. sadly that, but hey, I'm living and working the life ive got.
Thats a lot.
Now another thing.
The first exams of my college life are a week away. I am not as prepared as I want to be, but I am working on it, slowly but surely.
God is helping me and keeping me up. That being said, on to the workings. I am a full time student. I wannaace this. Learn a lot (but ace this).
CH 120 A or B. I get a decnt Hershey chocolate cake from C. E. Cheese
MA 10. Definitely affi pass coz u kno maths is a one nite stand areddy...cant deh wid it too long else it will mad u. so we aggo beat beat beat it dis semester so we CLEARRRR in da fall!!
breath of fresh air.... soon mek plans fi english. dat effin profssor is a nut!!!!
lmao anyway..
sklmedz yazeettttttttt
Sunday, 26 February 2012
February 2021
that should read 2012. anyway, i have realised some issues that i can change in my life. still researching them. 1. wipes with alcohol or propylene glycol can dry skin. area shoud be cleansed after each change. All my years of having this thing, i didnt know that. 2. its useful to take clorox wipes around. wherever a toilet seat cover is absent, it will fit in. 3. vinegar 1 fl oz. to 1 gallon in last rinse is good for clothes. 4. baking powder in first wash is good and it whitens teeth. 5. ammonia kills germs in washing machines.
Sunday, 22 January 2012
titeless
tired of em
tired of it
but not giving it up to them
they will never understand. dont want them to either.
just wanna be left alone.
Just wanna be left alone by these ppl.
Saturday, 21 January 2012
today
Life is pretty much itself
Being itself
Going on without me or you
Acknowledging ourselves
Life goes on
One day life will be more than some distant thought
That i cannot fathom in my mind
And have meaning
Unfortunately, that is not today.
Today I am here.
Till that great awakening, I am here
Living,
Trying to add meaning to some people
Trying not to be too down
Trying to survive.
When I get weary,
When I forget,
I wanna remeber that
That is enough too.
It is enough for today.
Till that day.
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