February 2021

that should read 2012. anyway, i have realised some issues that i can change in my life. still researching them. 1. wipes with alcohol or propylene glycol can dry skin. area shoud be cleansed after each change. All my years of having this thing, i didnt know that. 2. its useful to take clorox wipes around. wherever a toilet seat cover is absent, it will fit in. 3. vinegar 1 fl oz. to 1 gallon in last rinse is good for clothes. 4. baking powder in first wash is good and it whitens teeth. 5. ammonia kills germs in washing machines.

titeless

tired of em tired of it but not giving it up to them they will never understand. dont want them to either. just wanna be left alone. Just wanna be left alone by these ppl.

today

Life is pretty much itself Being itself Going on without me or you Acknowledging ourselves Life goes on One day life will be more than some distant thought That i cannot fathom in my mind And have meaning Unfortunately, that is not today. Today I am here. Till that great awakening, I am here Living, Trying to add meaning to some people Trying not to be too down Trying to survive. When I get weary, When I forget, I wanna remeber that That is enough too. It is enough for today. Till that day.

today

today was a good day. like evry other day it had elements of both bad and good i choose to look at the good and embrace them, also trying to better them and have more of them to like in dr a's sclae it wud b 5. what's good could be labeled but i dont wanna do that. what i think i want to do is think of a good state of mind tha goes with an event. a) i met a nice lady and i have her contacts. She is Ms Gentles b) pretty borderline, but i met a guy who told me of his job and gave me his employers number. i have it as kinda bad because i was on BBW time wen i met him (i was selling him products) and PLUS my super saw wen he gave me the number. i dont know wat he thinks of that, but i think it's questionable. c) iam learningg how to manage on my own. i still have faults and perhaps will always do, but i dont want to let my weaknesses outweigh my strengths. so i am gonna build my strong points which will on their own nullify or override my bads that was today. downside, i spent more money than i wanted.

them dec. 13

silence.
because it is better to speak not than do
makes better sense not to want nothing
than to desire things that are often given freely
and never asked for or earned
now u have to work for it.


its better i didnt have these pplwho i expect things from
the only person who loses is me, really.
i somehow think i can make the world better
i am waiting for god to tell me how to do it
maybe it not as much as an occasion as it is an everyday living- a way of life,
making the world better by being good in all i do.





thats wat i say. some part in the back of my head i guess i cud say i dnt kno how to act i dnt kno how to behave.

all i reaali want to do is to get away from these ppl. do it bymeslf. or with anyone else but them. but nobody wants to be there with me. and even if anyone did, i wud never trust them, i wud kno that it wudnt end well.


i kno my life wud be bettr without them. their life...ihave to say about theirs in order to prove am not selfish, i kno theirs wud be just as ok as they once were. they can manage without me.

life in new york

i am yet to really feel good about the move.
the water quality at this dwelling leaves much to be desired
so does food.

yet i am thanking God for hte future, because i know he will work things out.
eventhough my skin itches like hell when i bathe, and i dont trust the water filter, my undies get no sun. food is a bit scarce. just a bit... yet i am thankful. i have warmth on my chest and enough to sustain the little life ib me. So I am thankful, and I am learning to be even more thankful for what God has given me.

It also isnt about me. Life is about lots of others.

sisterlock certification

Been a month since i posted anything.
I have discovered something.
Sisterlock certification expires, like a drivers license or a doctors license.
U have to be refreshed to still be certified. thats great..but it costs.

It really is a lifetyle. Or a job.