Aerosmith - Sing for the moment

Avenue

Just remebered this avenue.
Just remebered it is google.
so. avenue

that thing

     Is apparently becoming a foodie. That does not explain it or frame it well. I have just been eating more and more frequently and more things that I would not like to eat so regularly. That says it!

    I think I am ... scratch that...if I don't like what I see, then it is I must change it.
Late night eating. Fried corn and potatoes...not you. You don't like it. The guilt is undeniable, o stop. Stop before it gets out of control.
 
   Firstly, all those chemicals are bad for you inside
   Those feel good moments aren't good for self-control.
   I am spending monies I should be saving.


   It all must stop. I don't want to live as if my stomach is my god. God is my God, it is he who i should go to at the start and end of he day. Not a bag of chips or cookies.
  oh the guilt...because i know better and i don't want to become...that

today

all i wanna do rite now is cry.
and the want for e a ths til here

Today Abril finetzn

so today was fine.

thought it was a more or less ordinary 'bad' day.
 Perhaps more positive adjectives should be used to describe my days. ah well.

I am learning little lessons in life. Like theres a time and place for everything, and allowing things to 'flow' is refreshing too. The thought that if something needs to be done,  i would have to do it, ha s put me in constant do  mode. Rather tiring doing can be.
Example sleeping in a  bed with another. Rising always before, so dutifully spreading the bed is expected. Cool. S o one leaves dutifully an unmade bed, without fluffing pillows, folding cover sheets or attempting to straighten (offering some aid) to the other.
 That becomes tiring.
Asking others to see what i think is verrryyyy obvious is also tiring.
 Like, I can u empty the bin whaen what has made it full is your garbage?

Such bitter complains make one tired....
   Ever tiring. Always tiredness.. is an ailment that sleep often cant cure.
It laughs at a bed and pillows, and stuffed animals with smiling faces.
Nothing gives ease to a soul unrested and broken from silence.

Truth is no wound can heal being sealed.
No sore can close covered under paddings.

Funny. We hide our scars 'protectiing them from germs outside'... probably not scars wound i mean.
yeah so we hide em, protecting them...
really?protecting the or the ppl around them from a grave sight or a foul smell?

God knows.

Climax: I wish my yawning (pun that shit for yearining) would end. That sikence be broken so peace can mend a sour hearts   sore.


mad poet shit dont!!!
raeeeeeee <3

hair today

doing a supposed deep steam.
trying not to use any resources from othrs xcept grandma
so i shampooed with suace clarifying. diluted 1to 1 with water
rinsed and rinsed. rptd.
pour brewed black tea over hair shower cap and towel
to use body heat to open cuticles

the aim is to darken my hair.

will try again next was...hich is thursday as i hav a locking appt frisday coming

march

bo-hoo
i am having hair struggles.
i love the look and feeel of micro locks' howvever, I am getting to realise it is a stretch to keep.
Firstly, self-retightening is hard. Very difficult with these as it takes a whole lotta time and energy.
My hair alos has gaps that need closing.
There is also the issue of dermatitis in the crown region. as white flakes tend to find their way and lodge in the base of the locks.

I am contemplating a) combining them
                              b) cutting my hair... dont want that
or i dunno leaving it.

i dont know what to do.
Really, my life has turned upside down.and it is all not a matter of my choosing.

I really respected Ms Yvonne because she is very knowledegable and caring. The trust I gave her to do my hair, I cant see myself doing that here. I dont know what to do at all.
Perhaps I should just suck salt thru a dry spoon and do the crazi stuff for 300-400 repair and retite dollars.. alos another option is procuring a free plane ticket and go to Ms Yvonne to fix it, then come bak here and 100-150 retites.

as i sed.. i dont kno wat to do. i prolly shud sit and talk to someone. which is what am gonna do again too. another stretch coz i only get money for metro cards for schhol days and library use.
Being  poor is ok, i guess. having no-one to take care of you is worse.
  wish things were differnt. I really do. But everytime i try to like get outta thiss society, life pushes me to it.

apparently, it is spring, and the masses wear heels and bright colours. I like neither. I wanna get into the christian club and jewish club and meet mormons who will have simple ideals like myself.

Rite now, I just speak the peace of Christ to my sirit, knowing that all is gonna be ok. Knowing deep down, things will be fine. I have to believe it. i must receive his peace to live in this world.