Oh how I miss Ms Gigli-Shae Lawrence
Her nose
Her warm kisses
Her demanding barks
Her eager, curious stares
Her protection
Her comfort
My baby
My puppy
My friend
She is not the only thing whose light I miss. Each day I reminisce on those animals, places, people and things which brightened my spirit and renewed my faith in humanity and God's goodness.
The numbers are adding up. There are more people, places, animals and things which are permeating the resistant resident dark cloud. Of course they are joined by the forces which perpetuate my doom, deviance, denial, selfishness.
It's funny how most people speak of bullying in schools and public spaces. It's funny how home is supposed to be a place of comfort and safety.
It's funny how I used to enlighten other's darkness, how I brought laughter to hearts. What do I bring now? Especially to these 'significant others'?
I miss those days when I longed for home
When I longed for the warmth of her
Her cooking,
Her singing
Her voice
Now I am repulsed by the sound of her footsteps
She's repulsed by me
I miss those days when I didn't long
Too much
When I felt more ok
Than not
When I didn't feel like tsote
Where home is a place of invitation only
And my invite was forgotten.
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